Amazing Weight Loss Plan


It's the new year and many are looking for that quick guaranteed method for dropping a few pounds. Well, I discovered it. Not only is it quick---3 days---it is almost sure to bring results**.
**for those over 40 results may be measured in ounces not pounds.

First, do not, repeat DO NOT get a flu shot. Doing so will greatly reduce the effectiveness of implementing this weight loss strategy.

Next, hang around anyone you know who has the flu, has just recovered from the flu, or has a family member with the flu. Attempt close bodily contact with them, preferably on the mouth or nose, and do not wash your hands afterwards.

When symptoms first appear ("my tummy doesn't feel so good...maybe cherry pie for dinner wasn't such a good idea....") you will have a solid 30 minutes before they take full effect. If you are not already at home or close to a private bathroom, make your way there immediately. Oh, and this will be the last solid entity you will experience in any 30 minute period for the following 72 hours.

At the end of 3 days (give or take 10 days depending on the virulence of your WeightLossVirus) feel free to ease back into a food regimen, but avoid rich, heavy fare as your recently inside-out gastro intestinal tract may still be sensitive (I especially do not recommend buttered popcorn).

As mentioned previously, actual results may vary. Particularly for those over 40, who could gain weight as the body will register the food passing through the mouth twice (going down and up) and count the calories accordingly. For the rest of you, enjoy those newly-looser jeans, and not to worry, the dizziness and lack of stamina should subside in a week or two.